Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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