You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
