Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
