Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I need to stop coming to work sober
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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