...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
