what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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