VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
