he shaved USA in his pubs
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
