if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
