I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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