there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
