p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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