my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
