hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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