you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
