it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
