So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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