I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
