I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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