Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
