You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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