Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
