I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
