Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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