Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
