I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
