I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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