Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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