You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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