did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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