on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
