do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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