Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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