hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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