Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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