i just had sex bonerless
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
