I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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