Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
