It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
