I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Pants are for mortals
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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