On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
