I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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