he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
