She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
