I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
