His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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