the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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