I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
