I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
