everyone is single if you try hard enough
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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