You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
