They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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