I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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