Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
